October '99 Acting Journal

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 28, 1999

JOHN FORD MOVIES AND COLD BEER!
Randleman watches "The Searchers" while searching for his career.

One of the best pieces of advice I received when I arrived in LA is not to take everything so personal. "Do the audition, grab a six-pack and go home and watch a John Ford movie." Learn it, live it, love it.

You'll go nuts if you obsess over every audition. I mean how can you explain why you do or don't get that one line part? You can't tell me someone can deliver the line, "I don't want a light beer!," better than me! Yet, someone did and I didn't get the job. So, it’s "Grapes of Wrath" time.

This is my first notebook entry in a month, so that should give you a bit of an idea of how slow it has been. I have been working on a screenplay that is taking a lot of research, which has never been my strong suit. The high point of the month was an audition as a Jehovah's Witness for the "X-Files." I got all gussied up with my hair slicked back and looked like a blown-up Michael Douglas from "Falling Down." The first reading went well and the callback was set for a Monday. I needed the time because as hard as it is too believe, I have never watched the "X-Files." I didn't know my Scully from my Mulder. I tried to research on the internet, but when I typed in "X-Files," all I got was naked pictures of Gillian Anderson’s head attached to the body of some other chick. Either it was another chick or Ms. Anderson has major neck issues. After this fruitful research time, I felt ready to wow the powers that be. Unfortunately, on Monday morning, I got the call that the part was written out. I guess the evil "porno karma" did me in. Another beer please, "My Darling Clementine."

On Wednesday, I had an audition for Lay's Potato Chips....as the FATHER OF A GEN-X TEENAGER! This is my first audition as the father of a teenager. Now at 37, I am old enough to have a kid that age. But, since I still live my life like a grad school student, this was major "Hello." Here are a couple of pierced punks talking chips with the old man. Fun and giggles with Hanson. "How Green is My Stinkin' Valley."

No call from the "Hollywood Squares" for the big man. Updating an earlier entry about my friend Holly's return to the "Squares" Tournament of Champions, she had a five out of six chance of getting on. Yeah, you guessed it. My slump is contagious. "Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest words...what might of been." Till next time, Batter Up!

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